Tuesday, May 5, 2009
“See all these plates I have in the AIR?”
“Oh! You Home School do you?” “You must really have a lot of free time.” Or and I love this one: “You home school, can’t they just do “it” tonight, tomorrow or this weekend.” “Can’t you just skip it?” and my all time favorite…………”When do you have your ‘Me time’?” The answer is…….. NO! No! I don’t have a lot of free time………..No! I can’t just do it tomorrow. No! If we don’t start in the morning we won’t get it done. No! I don’t want to do school on the weekends………….and Yes! We will be working this summer. Oh Yeah………..and……..ME TIME??? Does it count on the nights I can’t sleep and come down stairs to read or maybe even write on my blog. Is that ‘me time’? Being a mother to teens, a preteen girl and a toddler takes up all my time. Being a home school mother of a high school student, 2 middle school students and a toddler that wants ALL the attention takes up even more time. Having a husband who is self employed and who needs someone to handle; accounts, phone calls, office needs, and help keeping track of names and numbers of customers, and scheduling takes up even more time. I’m busy………and that’s good. But sometimes people really don’t understand just how busy I am. I’m home and some think if your home maybe your not as busy as you say you are and you have time for; a drop in or a phone call or running to the mall or lunch with friends…………..Some people think you maybe able to watch their kids while they …..run errands, have a date night or maybe …..Have a little ‘Me Time’…..Exactly, what is that again? When I am asked to meet for lunch or the phone rings and it is a friend or sometimes even a family member………..I screen calls during school…(I’m sorry! But, it is true).. I don’t go to lunch…and sometimes the party that I have been invited too seems like a lot …..YES! I know…..seeing it in black and white …… it seems bad……It really seems very bad. But! Ya know……in my defense…..Sometimes I just can’t talk or have that visit while we are in school ….I maybe in the middle of a math lesson with my daughter who cries when she can’t understand her math or I may be in the middle of a discussion with my son about the Theology he is studying…and I am having trouble understanding exactly what he is saying ……..I may be helping my other son ,who is dyslexic, remember spelling rules we have worked so hard on. I could be reading to my little one who has waited all day to have a turn to “do school with mommy.” Sometimes I just can’t socialize on the phone or in a group. Sometimes I just don’t have the time or the energy. There are times I maybe dealing with a customer or Mark may need me to check on a price or find a number for him. I have to drop everything, even school, to get those things done. I have been known to cut telephone conversations short or even completely off when the business phone rings ……..I need to get these phone calls. They pay the bills, feed the family and hopefully will keep the roof over our heads. All these things that I do may make me seem isolated, selfish even………I am told I seem unsociable……..I am told I don’t want to bother with people. I have been told I only seem to like my own kids…………Yes, sometimes true……but not mostly….I do like people. I do want to be bothered and I do like other people’s children. AND Yes, it is true……..I do like my own children better. I know they are not perfect but they are my children and yes I like them more then anyone else’s. I think this is just honest. These things are just some of the things that I am needed for in my own family never mind; laundry, grocery shopping, getting dinner on the table at a decent hour or even the outside factors of my life. I have a lot to do and I know it. So when I am asked if I can go here or there or meet people for lunch, a party or a trip to the park, a lot of times I have to say NO! Sometimes, I try to make it and then I have to cancel because I am needed at home. Sometimes, I am very late because I got a last minute phone call from Mark asking me to call someone or check on something for him. People get mad and upset and figure ~ Well, she is home…..”Why can’t she get it done”? Or they think I am just being inconsiderate or I am not very giving. I feel like I am juggling all the time; Sometimes, I take on more and think, “Okay, throw another plate up here. I can juggle one more"……and then sometimes, I think; if I take on one more thing I will drop all these plates I have in the air and then I will have to start over. I just can’t. Then I hear, Well your home anyway...... Why can’t you just………and I think...... Oh! Boy, if they only knew.