I could have missed it all.

This is Matthew's Birthday week. He will be 17 ......It takes my breath to say that. I can't believe this is the baby that had to be revived twice the night of his birth. This is the baby Doctor after Doctor told us he surely would die because of the sever reflux he suffered from.

This is the baby that changed everything for me, for us. When he came into our lives we where married 10 months and 15 days. In total honesty, I was a little put out about it all. I wasn't going to be one of those mom's that stayed home and got bored all the time doing nothing but watching kids. I was going to work and have a life. That was until April 30 midnight when the nurse came into check his vital signs. I got up to go into the bathroom and I herd the nurse swear. I can still hear and see it all clear today "Damn it, Damn it" as she hit him with the palm of her hand on his tiny back......then throwing him into the cradle, his feet flopping up into the air and then down......she took my baby in the cradle and ran out of the room. I ran into the bathroom and watched it all through the crack I left in the door..............I then heard "Code Red, Code Red" not knowing what else to do I stayed where I was..... hiding........hoping it was not for him.

By the time I came out an hour must have gone by...........the hospital floor was quite.......I went out to the nurses’ desk asking where he was.........for we still had not named him yet. The nurse was so smart that night in her thinking.........she said and I remember it so well..........."Oh! He is just the prettiest baby we have seen and all the nurses are taking turns holding him.........They just want to keep him for a while."..........."Oh .......Okay" I said.........She told me to get some rest........She knew he was my first baby and I was young.....I bought it..........I went into the room and I called Mark to tell him what was going on. I told him what the nurse said..... He said okay.......try to get some rest...........so I did. The next morning I was up early and ready for my new son...........The doctor came in and told me there where problems..........."He" had to be revived twice that night.........."He" was being transferred to another hospital right away. "He" had been baptized because the hospital saw I wrote Catholic in the religion box............and "He" may not make it............What?

"He" stayed in the hospital for 10 more days.......... We brought him home with a heart and lung monitor and medication that had to be given to him 9 times a day. We where not allowed to leave the hospital without CPR lessons and anyone that would care for this child had to know CPR ...........We were scared to death of this tiny little baby. We had named him Matthew Joseph............and he stole our hearts.

We were told we should hold him for at least 30 minutes after every meal.........I never put him down.......We were told how to give him his medication.......I never missed a dose.........We took him to a Doctor in Charleston, SC who told me , Matthew would surely die and there was nothing I could do.......... We took him to another doctor.

At four weeks old we where back in the hospital for an ear infection.........Mark looked at me and asked if I quit my job and was I going to stay home with him.............I said, Yes......and it was done.........I never looked back. We never looked back.

Now, I look at that time with him and I think........What a Blessing..........I could have missed so much if I went back to work...........If I wasn't so scared........If I trusted just anyone to give him his medication.......or just to hold him......I could have missed it all.

Now he will be 17 April 30 and I am so happy God sent us a reflux baby.