Skin is not always good

Okay, it is the middle of swimsuit season and it was time to find my 12 year old daughter a new one.

Planning very carefully as I often do …I waited until the last minute to jump in the car and run to Target. It was 8 PM when we got there and Kathryn had a pool party to host at my mothers house the very next day.

I figured, like always, how hard could it be???

Target has suits. I have seen them and she could not have grown that much in a year. The old suit still fits her…kind of…...okay granted it is a bit baggy, saggy and worn but……..It still fits….Well ….the elastic is going but who’s looking that close?

We have only been swimming at Nana’s…..

As we walk into the store, Kathryn and I went right over to the girls department and I throw 12 maybe 16 suits into the cart and say; “let’s try these ….Yes, all of them. It will be fun.” She gives me this look of disbelief and says, “Mom, I don’t think it will take this many.” I tell her to just “get in there. We have to hurry. I am not sure what time this store closes.”

She tries the first couple on and I realize….We have moved out of the girls department. We have moved up into the Teens. My baby girl is growing up. I tell her to get dressed, we will run over to the teen department and find something there.

As I stood there looking at the suits, I looked around in disbelief and think “Oh Oooo……..this is not good.

There was NOTHING “for us” to choose from………There where one piece bathing suits with plunging necklines, sides cute out, slits at the legs up to the neck line and cleavage…boy did we see cleavage!…..There where bikinis held together with jewelry, string, ties and more cleavage….for teen girls.

Did I say Teen girls?

Yeah, I think I did.

Uggg! I think to myself…….The buyer for this store must hate girls.

Kathryn looked at me with tears in her eyes and said. “Now what Mom?” I don’t want to wear these. I don’t like these. Can I try on more of what we have???

She wanted something she could play in……NOT something to pick up a husband in. I told her to give the other suits a shot and maybe we would come up with something.

I thought

And I thought

And I thought

I went back to the dressing room asked the attendant what time they closed ~ found out with relief it was 10:30

Yay!!

Checked on Kathryn again ~ This time as she opened the door to show me the one suit she said ………… In her words……”fits perfectly….lets get this one.” Only if she rounds her shoulders, sucks in her stomach so much it is hard to talk and stands in the shape of a “C” would it fit…… It was great!

I had to think of something or she was going to be wearing the saggy, baggy suit or worse sitting on the side of the pool not swimming at her party.

I could NOT have that.

I walked the store ………….right past the workout clothes.

I thought maybe….just maybe this might work. Some of the workout tops now are made from the same material as bath suits. Maybe we could use one of those.

I went back to the teen department, found a very cute bathing suit bottom…that matched a very unacceptable and uncomfortable looking, for a growing young woman, top. I headed back over the workout department. I found a long black workout top trimmed in white to match the very cute black and white checked bottoms I held in my hand.

Hoping it would work……..I handed it all to my very unhappy and worried preteen daughter and told her to try it on.

She looked at me and declared……….”This is a workout top! I can’t wear this!”

“Just try it.” I told her…. “It is this or nothing…...”

Un-happily……She did it.

Everything fit……….She was adorable.

Yay! ME!!

On the way out ~ I got a big….”Your so smart Mom……Thank you!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The party was a success. All the girls had a wonderful time……..As I looked around most of the girls wore T-shirts or kept towels over their bathing suits. I also found out the other moms ran into this same problem.

I remember being this age and being very uncomfortable about all the changes my body was going through. I have talked to several mothers and we all feel the same way. Are there any clothes designers out there that cares about the safety and the safe mental health of our children?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, here is the question………WHAT??? Are these buyers and clothes designers thinking?

We ,girls and mothers, are having a very difficult time finding age appropriate clothing for our daughters………. never mind bathing suits.

Now, here is my statement…..WHAT???

These are little girls and young woman. These young girls are in training for womanhood not prostitution. They want to learn and play….They want to play safe without being worried about who is looking at them and what they are showing. They want to play with other children, with their pets, ride bikes and read books on hot summer days. The girls I know……..really DO NOT want to dress sexy. They want to dress pretty. They are not even used to the idea of a changing body….never mind show it off.

If we as mothers put sexy clothing on our daughters………What are we saying to them??? What are we saying to our sons? We want our young men to think of woman …. all woman...... as smart, vital beings. We want them to think of woman as the fabric of society, as respectable and reliable vital people.

We want our girls to think of themselves in the same way and as so much more..........Why are we accepting being forced to dress our children Sexy?

It seems to me…….If we as mothers put clothing held together with strings, jewels or anything other then dignity on our 12 year old daughters ….What is okay for them wear at 16?

What is an acceptable way for our boys to respond to all this skin? …..There are many confusing and mixed messages out there today for all our children.

I keep telling my kids…………..”Skin is not always good.” ……

Something Bee-ish

I went running this morning. The circles and arrows are still in the road but the rain is finally fading them. Things have settled down around here finally and people are starting to get back to a normal life.

Shuuuu, that was really creepy!

When I run, I take one of my kids I-pods with me to listen to and check up on the things they are listening to…….Today I took Kathryn’s. She had her favorite songs from the girl bands she likes and some songs Matthew and Stephen like. But, the thing that really stopped me in my tracks was the Catholic Apologists she had on there. I could not help but completely stop, turn around to see who was talking to me and then smile when I realized it was John Martignoni and Catholic Answers.

I wondered….. is that for me?? Or what??

..…I will tell you my kids know much more then I do or ever have about our Catholic faith. They teach me so much every day………Who wouldn’t be happy with this life I lead? There are many shaky moments in this very busy life but, it is good.

Don’t worry ~ my kids do have a sense of normalcy…As I sit and type Kathryn and Stephen are arguing about something silly. Matthew is at his Spanish class and is shall I say….. indignant… we can’t have his friend spend the night this weekend because of a debate workshop he really needs to go to…..

He demands to know “WHY!?!”

I really don’t have an answer for him just simply; I think he should go… I think that is good enough. I don’t expect him to be the top debater. I don’t even expect him to come in the top 20. I just think it will help him in ((gulp)) college, which is coming all to fast for me. It seems when you home school you have to prove yourself to the secular world, which makes us work harder. I have to laugh……because it is all good for us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why does it seem everything happens at once?

This weekend my cousin and her family, Jen, Charlie and the kids , are coming in from San Diego. They will be staying with Jen’s mother of course and It turns out….Auntie’s neighbor has graciously offered her deceased sister’s condo for Auntie or Jen to stay in while the family is here. This condo is right across the hall from Aunties two bedroom home. How nice of this woman to offer.…

Jim is home with his love, hanging in and progressing after the stroke. Karen, Joey and Anthony are coming down this weekend too and we have a busy weekend planned with dinner with friends, the debate work shop and the boys are digging out a ditch for Grandpa so he can lay pipes from the old well to the pool house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

According to Matthew: "there are black berries to pick for the wine, fields to clear for the grapes, pipes to lay for Grandpa, a Spanish exam to study for and Bees to tend too. He just does not have time for all this….company and worse!! Debate stuff!"

I don’t think I have told you about the Bee’s...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It turns out Stupid Rick is really not that stupid after all. Well, some days…he is really stupid and then some days He is not that stupid . Huuuu? Who knew? I don't want to give him too much credit!

He is into many things and he is including our sons into his hobbies. I just find this all so amazing. To think, he would want to be bothered with all this teaching he is doing with our sons.....A couple of weeks ago he took Matthew and Stephen to a three day seminar at Clemson University to study Bees.

The boys loved it! They where up before 6 a.m. and out the door by 6:45. The three of them could not wait to get to class. They could not wait to get there hands dirty and into their new projects. It was all so exciting to see.

We are reading and studying Bee books now. I think we will take this opportunity to study Bees as our science this year for Stephen and Kathryn. There is so much to learn when it comes to bees. It is just amazing!

Rick has been kind enough to call the boys when he will be working with the bees and always includes them when he is doing something like; finding the swarm, extracting honey or something Bee-ish.

The Present from Heaven

One day this little Barbie Bag fell from the sky. ((well, the attic really)) Mark went up into the attic to check something. This bag was where he need to be and he threw it out of his way....right down the open stairs. It fell at the feet of our soon to be , at the time, three year old daughter.

It was like a present from Heaven.

I put this bag in the attic years ago when Kathryn lost interest in it. It held...well...Kathryn's Barbies.

I remember the day I threw it up there thinking ~ one day I would sell it on E-bay.....Hmmm... well, we all know how worked out for me. I'm really glad I didn't have to pay extra to "sell" it now.

Elizabeth feel in love with this bag right away. She put it to good use immediately. She filled it with many special things. These things may change from day to day. We just never know what that maybe...after all it is a woman's prerogative they say...

Yesterday, for our visit to Grandma's Elizabeth filled her bag with;

*Big Girl pants....Not to be confused with diapers. ((Gee, you people are so judgmental))

*a Tiara ...A girl may never know when she needs one. ((She may have to prove she is really a princess.))

*Pajamas ((for the late night ride home))

*Blocks ((these are her favorite toys at the moment))

*an extra pair of shoes ((you just never know if you may need them))

* little toy bear...

~ Day or Night ~

This bag goes everywhere with us; whether it is to the store for milk, up stairs or down ((in our house)), Nana's house, a trip to the mountains, or a day at the park... This bag filled with Mary Elizabeth's prized possessions and necessities travels with us.

She loves this bag. Who knew something thrown to the side with haste would bring her so much joy?

Lilly's Little Brother

A couple of weeks ago my friend Melissa and I took our kids to the park. We wanted to have another birthday party to celebrate Mary Elizabeth turning three. ((Yes again.)) Liz’s sweet little friend Madelyn bought cup cakes, balloons, and more presents. We had a great time.

All together we had just four kids playing in the park that day. While the children played we watched over them and solved many problems around the world. ((Once again, we where brilliant that day!)) While we played with our kids, took pictures and talked, we noticed a large group coming into the park with children of all ages. The children where accompanied by three adult women.

We noticed one woman was on the phone and the other women where talking. We also noticed the woman on the phone kept calling one of the little girls to take care of her brother. We heard “Lilly, come get your little brother.” Lilly, come play with your little brother” and ”Lilly, go get your little brother.” over and over again. Lilly could not have been more then eight years old and her brother could not have been older than 18 months if he was a day.

While Melissa and I watched our children we noticed; Lilly carry her brother, swing her brother and guide her brother most of the afternoon. We noticed many of the other children in the group watched over Lilly’s little brother until they would grow tired of watching him and then call ~ “Lilly come and get your little brother.”

We also noticed Lilly grew tired of watching over, playing with and guiding her little brother and wanted to play with her friends……So she did. No one was watching Lilly’s little brother. No one except for the other parents in the park….watching the three women, not watching Lilly’s little brother ~ talking…seemingly, not watching the other children play.

Melissa and I watched Lilly’s little brother walk out of the gate to the park without anyone important to his care noticing him. When this happened I stood up; following him looking in "awww" at the woman I thought might be his mother. All women continued to talk, never noticing Lilly’s little brother was walking away out of the park, out into the parking lot as I followed him.

As he turned himself around heading back into the park, a grandmother from a different group and a different end of the park……..yelled “Hey, Is that your baby?” “He was just leaving….” The response was one that surprised us…………”No. He is not my baby. Lilly, come and get your little brother.” And Lilly’s little brother went back to the play ground by himself.

Needless to say, Melissa, and I where confused.

As we watched ALL the children play we watched Melissa’s three year old daughter, Madelyn, mother Lilly’s little brother. As the baby walked up the stairs…..not meant for his little legs or his little mind… We watched Madelyn protect this little child. Madelyn guided this baby up the stairs. She guarded the openings standing in front of each of them while Lilly's little brother walked past them not letting him fall down the slide or down the fireman's shoot.

The women whose care he seemed to be in… never noticed any of this.

They never noticed that their charge was being guided and protected by a baby herself. They never noticed the baby walked out of the park. They never noticed the baby had climbed high into a play area that was not designed for a child his age. They never noticed the other parents and grandparents watching this baby mother and protect better then they were.

When it was time for this group to leave:

These women never notice……..They had left the baby behind. And only when they where told by a very alarmed Lilly jumping up and down saying with fear “The baby!” “Don’t leave the baby!” “We have to get the baby!” Did one of these woman say…….simply......”Oh!”

After giving this much thought: I do not think the mom was at the park that day. I do not think these woman where with a daycare provider….I think they where trusted friends or relatives…Who really did not want to be bothered with Lilly’s little brother.

I wish I had the presents of mind to ask these women who they where. I wish I thought to take pictures of Lilly’s little brother and I wish I knew this mom who left her well dressed son and daughter in the care of people that didn’t want him. I wish I could tell her to be careful who she leaves her children with. I know she would be as horrified as we were to see such uncaring care given to such a sweet, innocent child.

Now this leaves me to wonder....What will I do the next time?

I hope I would ask questions....Like who's child is this? Who are you to this child? Do you know he was leaving? Do you see that he is up on this play set and it is too high for him?

It is so strange to me ~ People do not leave their wallets with anyone, hid their check books and will guard their secret pass words with their lives.

But ~ We leave our children with just anyone. Even people we really don't know or worse people that don't want to be bothered .

The Bloody Trail

Okay, Okay I know: It has been a VERY long time.

BUT! I have been traumatized!!

I know I have mentioned that I have been getting up really early to run and get a workout in. The routine has been; meet my sister a mile down the road twice a week, run, go to my dad’s gym, lift weights, hit the bag, swim or do whatever we feel like. On the off days I do it all by myself.

July 7, last week…..I left my house around 6:15 am for my morning run. I go by myself and have a great workout. I head towards home around 8:15 and see my friend. She tells me the police caught the serial killer or else she would have something to say about me going by myself and she really wishes I would take something with me like a knife to protect myself. I tell her; she is such a good friend and thank you so much for caring and I think CRAZZZY boy how lucky I am to have such a great friend and neighbor. I also told her how at one point…….((close to home)) I did get a little freaked out because of the song I was listening to “Killer on the Loose” by Thin Lizzy. Or maybe it was our talk from yesterday about the serial killer and the combination of the song the talk and the fact we really don’t live too far from Gaffney where the serial killer lived……Yicks!!!

We laughed at my silliness and I went home.

9:30 AM ~ I get a text message from Melissa, my friend next door: “Forensics next door 2 me.” …….then another message……”Police, fire trucks and a whole bunch of everything you would believe the cars & people – wonder what is going on”

We Figured someone was hurt and that was really too bad. I go about my day. After all, I had a birthday party to plan.

11:00 A.M ~ Another message from Melissa. “They are still there”

1:00 PM ~ We leave the house. I pass the police that are hanging out at the house in question up the street. I stop and ask; “What happened?” I am told “AHH nothing really, just a little domestic thing.” I say, “Wow! This is a lot for a domestic thing.” “I hope no one was hurt to badly.” The cop says, “No, don’t worry.” This is routine.” I say “Oh! Wow! I didn’t know.” "Okay"

I text Melissa and tell her everything is okay ~ this is all routine. She texts back and say “Oh! Wow!”

We have our party ~ come home around 7 and drive past the house in question and see: yellow police tape, more police cars, police vans, lots of police stuff……

WOW!!

We have dinner, talk about the day and what could be happening up the street……… the phone rings…..it’s my brother….I let it go and figure I will call him back as soon as we are finished …..Mark’s phone rings……It’s my brother….Mark says….”UMM It’s Bill…..It must be important.”

They talk…….

Matthew and Stephen are getting themselves ready to go out for their run.

Mark catches them as they are going out the door and says with alarm……”Hey! Wait! Your not going…….”

He looks at me and says……..”You’re finished running alone.”

What?!?!?! What are you talking about?????? WHY???

He tells me there has been an attack on our street……….an ATTACK!!??!!

“What kind of attack? What are you talking about? This street is beautiful town USA. Nothing ever happens on this street except dogs…..or a lost cats…….What are you talking about???? This is the street people don’t lock themselves in at night. We leave our keys in the car……….We leave our doors unlocked ……….what do you mean an ATTACK???

Mark tells me what Bill said:

A man…….(( he does not live in our area)) was attacked…….WITH a MACHETE! A MACHETE!!! Writing it gives me the creeps!! This was a Hispanic man, no one has seen before, ends up on one of our neighbors door steep……..Hatched up, bleeding profusely…The woman calls 911!!! This guy says he was attacked by someone he did not know on our street…..OUR STREET!! He said he didn’t know why, who or anything………He was just attacked with a MACHETTE!

The police investigate………They find there is a blood trail……..A BLOOD TRAIL……on our street!! Leading one tenth of a mile down the road to another house…….2……TWO!! houses from my house!!

YICKS!

We are not told much about this crime. We have been told; the attack happened inside this house one tenth of a mile down the road…….2……TWO!! houses down from my house!!

We know now this house was being used for drugs…for drugs…..on my street!! …The police pulled 3….THREE…van loads of marijuana out of this house. The police where seen by people on the street taking out grow light…fertilizer…computers…and other things needed for marijuana growth (( I don’t even know what that could be……..I have trouble with tomatoes!!))

As of last week; the guy that was attacked with the MACHETE! was not expected to make it. We don’t know what happened to him....We really don’t know much about what was going on there except the house was being used for drugs and we do not think anyone lived in the house. No one ever talked to the people in the house……they didn’t speak English….they only waved and rushed inside. We only saw Hispanic men coming and going rarely from the house.

….The grass was never cut, for a brand new house there was never even so much as a flower in the new yard. Now we know why…….They where to busy taking care of what was inside the house.

The police told us… This was a big crime. They will catch who ever did this. They said they could not find the owner of the house and to watch out for any strange happenings in the area. YICKS!! Strange Happenings in the area……like men walking down the street sliced up from a machete attack….

This area is very quite...People move to rural areas to be left alone….to run early in the morning and feel safe…to raise their children in a friendly but not so talkative neighborhood. We live here to be safe and live our lives in the bubbles we have created….It has really been very nice!

Everyone is on edge…..People are not going out as much…..you don’t see people walking their dogs…running…or doing the normal things you see in a neighborhood.

For one week I stayed inside in the early morning ……..not working out…….not doing anything….I got up, got dressed and sat there thinking….Okay, I will just get in the car and go to my parents house…I can run around their neighborhood….I just sat there….. waiting….to afraid to go outside, to get in the car, to go down the street.

After 3 days of this I thought……okay I will sleep in this week and start Monday. I can give it a week and then things will be okay. Happy with that and thinking the rest will be good……..

I waited until Monday.

Monday comes…..I get up early…..but still don’t leave early. I force myself to get my shoes on, find a good song on Matthew’s IPOD and go out the door. I start running…I have an hour and think that is okay…..I feel a little creped but think…..It’s okay……I’m okay…..everything is fine…I go to the dead end turn around……past my house and up the road….I pass my friends house and then see circles in the road with arrows leading up to the house in question……then I follow circles and arrows .1 mile down the road to the house that helped the man that was sliced up with the machete….((YICKS!!)) I force myself to keep going…….I run, stop, turn around look behind me, turn the music up, run, stop, turn around look behind me, turn the music down …….think okay I know I learned how to take away a knife from an attacker…..but I don’t think we covered Machetes…as a matter of fact I don’t think Mr T thought about teaching us how to take away a Machete from an attacker……mmmmm……maybe I should ask him about that……….I review in my mind taking away a knife, a gun, someone chocking you, okay how do you break elbows again…..yeah, that’s right…run, turn around look behind me, turn the music up, stop, turn around look behind me, walk, turn the music down ……make myself go 3 miles like this the whole way… I go past my old Karate instructors house…….think maybe I could just run up and down his drive way…..gee I miss karate…..hope I can go back soon……review in my mind the moves I should know..…

I have enough of the whole thing and head home…go past the house in questions, past the circles, past the arrows leading to the houses… I run, stop, turn around look behind me, turn the music up …

YICKS!!

I can’t wait to get in the house…I see Mark and say “GEE!! That was creepy!!” Mark says he wishes I wouldn’t go by myself any more……think that is a good idea.

Tuesday I wake up Stephen to go with me…..Show Stephen the circles and arrows and notice the blood staining the road leading .1 mile to the house where the man went for help. Stephen and I only make it a couple of miles it is early for him and the blood trail has both of us freaked out.

Yesterday, I was brave enough to get in my car and go to my mother’s neighborhood. I’ll keep you posted on the progress!

The Marys are THREE!!

Yesterday, July 7th, was Mary Elizabeth's third birthday. It was Auntie's Third birthday too. We decided it would be great fun to have a combined Surprise Birthday Party for Auntie......

at her house.

REALLY IT WAS OKAY!!

"Surprise!

We are coming to your house....

In five minutes.....Clean up quick!!

Did you make us a cake??"

No!!!

We are nicer then that!

We brought cake.

AND

Presents!

Lots of Presents!! We had a great time!

~But ~

.....There was someone missing.....

Auntie's Jim

He had a stroke last week.

He is doing much better this week and he is in rehab.

Even though, he is in the hospital and could not make our party

~ He didn't miss it~

We took the party to him.

He loved it!

He is the nicest man.

They are a great team and really love each other very much.

I know he and Aunt Mary Lou would appreciate prayers for his healing.

~ So if you could ~

They will not be wasted.

July 4th Pictures

Just a few July 4th pictures

It was not only July 4th ~ It was also Brian's 7th birthday.

We had a great big party and everyone came.

Joe cooked and it was great!

These guys heard Joe was cooking and there would be cake!

Everyone enjoyed the day.... There was

Swimming Sun and Fun

Fireworks!

It really was a wonderful day!

Mark and His Little Sassy Mai

Happy Belated 4th