Kathryn Grace with the Beautiful Face

Today is Kathryn's Birthday!

Kathryn and Nana

Kathryn and Mary Elizabeth I can't believe she is 12. How could "IT" be?

The Concert

One day last month I thought it would be a good idea to put on a concert for the residents at the Magnolia Manor Nursing Home in Spartanburg. I got the idea only after an illness my father had because of a Chemo treatment. My daughter, Kathryn, had a recital that my parents had to miss because my father was to sick from the "cure". After the recital Kathryn called my mom to let her know how she did and that she had missed her nana. My mother as involved as always, asked Kathryn if she would take her harp over to their house and play the songs they could not hear. With much delight Kathryn obliged her requests........The next day with the harp in hand Kathryn played for my mom and dad.

As usual, we stayed most of the day and Kathryn practiced much of that time. Even though my dad really didn't feel well he sat in the room with Kathryn as she softly practiced.

When we talked during the week my father told me how he "thoroughly enjoyed" her playing. He told me, her playing lifted his spirits and it all seemed to help him feel better that weekend. Without knowing it, my 11 year old daughter gave her grandfather a gift of love. Even though Kathryn is a novice player, I started to think...............my father is very much a positive person and the music really seemed to help him find strength that day. I started to wonder, what would it do for someone who does not have the optimistic out look that my father does? I wondered, what would it do for Kathryn? She loves music. She is always playing her harp or the piano. I thought maybe if we look into this she may find this to be something she would like to do as a career..........Music Therapy........ I e-mailed the other moms in the home school co-op Kathryn belongs too to find out if anyone would be interested in putting on a little concert for the folks in the nursing home we as a group have visited. There was lot a of interest. The nursing home could not wait for us to come and the children in the co-op could not have been more enthusiastic about it all. All the kids were so delighted to play their instruments. Some of the kids where excellent and some only pecked at the key boards. But, all the children wanted to share what they knew. When we first started our concert the hall was mostly empty with only a few residents in the room. One by one men and woman came into the hall. One by one the men and woman sat down and listened. One by one the children became more and more excited andthe "Captive Audience" enjoyed our concert . When I think back on the experience; I think once again I am the one who received the gift that day. Even though everyone seemed to really love the whole thing, I walked away in 'awww' and a full heart.

I was so impressed with the enthusiasm of the children and the residents.

BUT,

I was most impressed with my daughter who, after the concert, went over to talk to a woman and answered the same questions over and over again. This woman was most definitely suffering from Alzheimer's. She could not remember that she had told us, many times ,about her son who played in a band . She had told us about her husband who died and she told us about her little dog. She told us she did not get many visitors and she really enjoyed it when children came to the home.

She would then tell Kathryn, she had beautiful skin and then ask about her school. The conversation went like this; "Oh yeah, you told me that........and did I tell you about the time my son played in a band and I really loved the music today.........and Kathryn answered and answered and knew...........Even though this lady looked perfectly fine this woman needed a little extra care. Kathryn gave it to her...........I was so impressed with my daughter once again. This experience filled me with pride to see what a wonderful woman Kathryn is growing up to be.

It is funny to me, how I think I am the one that is giving but then for me, the giving always turns to receiving more then I could have imagined.

I guess I am just lucky that way.

Not Me! Monday!

I am not posting "Not Me! Monday" on Wednesday. I am not behind in everything, mostly my days. I did not hit the tree in my yard Saturday night. After all, my husband........ who did not take it very well..... said "How could you have done that? You have only past that tree for the past 12 years." I think that tree is out to get me! It jumped right in front of my car. I saw it! I think it is okay to blame the tree. It never happened. Stupid TREE! This blog carnival was created by MckMama.

Who's the Teacher?

When you home school something wonderful happens: Your kids get to learn about things they are interested in. AND When you have grandparents that want to encourage their grandchildren every step of the way some thing even more wonderful happens: You get to see real dreams come true. One day last summer my father wanted to put in a little garden, just something small, like a salad garden............His thoughts where he, as a city boy, could teach the kids a little bit about real country life and they would be able to eat the fruits of their labors.
Win! Win! Everyone loved the idea.
We as a group really do not know much about gardening but we all thought maybe we would get a good summer tomato out of the deal. My boys suggested to their grandfather it might be a good idea to build a shed to hold all the tools they would need for the garden. The shed went up and the tools went in. Through the summer they worked and worked on the garden and the shed. Many fruits and vegetables were eaten. However, that was not the only thing that grew the summer of 2008. Huge things developed from these little ideas……Relationships grew stronger. My son’s got to spend real time with their grandfather learning and building and just dreaming… Matthew started dreaming of a muscadine farm. He started reading and researching and talking to my dad about how wonderful it would be to have a real muscadine vineyard. Like any reasonable person talking to a 16 year old kid would say………. “Sure that sounds like a great idea”…..”Let’s do it!’ Did I say reasonable? I meant crazy man would say………….
They went on field trips to the neighborhood farms. They started to research. They went to a convention out of town. They had the small fruit expert from Clemson University out to the land to give them advice. They held business meetings. THEN They started to clear land.
The kids (I mean we) have learned so much about soil, seeds,wine making, clearing land, driving trucks and tractors.………..We have even learned that scientists are using the seeds in research to try to make diesel fuel and are researching uses for the skins for cancer research. We have learned muscadines are the highest known natural resource for antioxidants and for resveratrol…….. What the heck is resveratrol?? SEE This is why you need kids to study hard to teach you things like…resveratrol……Which is a natural compound found in grape skins that slows aging, prevents cancer and something else. Look it up if you really want to know more. I forget! The kids want to grow muscadines and sell them, make wine and earn money for college…..
When we started home schooling 6 years ago I never imagined where it would take us……… I never imagined these kids could teach and give us all so much.

Not Me! Monday

Let's Play! I did not eat raw brownie mix one day last week. I am allergic to the wheat and I know if I have anything tasty like that, I will have cankers. Cankers hurt and they make me miserable! I also care very much about my weight and my body. Most of all, I want to be very healthy. I did not hang on to the plant that was my sister’s birthday present from the woman in her Co-Op last week. They gave it to me because they knew …I would have rushed it right to her house that very day. I would have never put the plant in my trunk and forgotten about it, immediately. I would not have driven around with it for two 2 days only to have my daughter bring it into the house Sunday night when we had our freezing rain and snow storm. It could have died out there! Also, I would not have had the same plant sitting in my kitchen window for 3 more days. I would have given it to my sister way before she sent out a thank you e-mail to her friends for her beautiful gift and card…….. That she had………. in her house…. because…….. I gave it, ALL, to her right away………. I’m just like that………….GOOD, Kind & Thoughtful! I did not forget about the Mandatory Meeting at Debate club Wednesday afternoon either. I wrote it all down in my date book and I would have looked at my book in the morning and knew that the meeting was for me. I am way too organized to forget something like that. Even if I did forget, when I noticed all the cars in the parking lot, it would have triggered my memory to the very important meeting for the parents that day……….I would never have thought I could have an hour of peace before I willingly and happily went into Judge a debate round that afternoon………… I am much to on the ball for that to happen and never think of myself. I would have never fallen to sleep reading what Matthew finds a fascinating economics book, that he wants to share with everyone in his life. He is insistent that we all read the book and enjoy it as much as he does……I tell you, I do enjoy it….I do……I do…….I do! That same day; I would not have been late to a very important play date with my daughter's friend. After I sent my message about our play time, I would have stayed by the computer to see if the play time was still on. I would have never walked away, sat on the couch and fell to sleep making us an hour and a half late. We love going to play with this friend and my attention span is much better then that. Plus, I am never tired! Now let me know what you did or did not do. This blog carnival was created by MckMama. With her encouragement and her blog button, I have decided to play.

Judging

You may think this post will be about judging others or how I was missed judged or something like that.

But, No!

It is about being a Judge in a home school debate class:

This class is more like a political science class then anything else. The class consists of home schooled high school and a few middle school students. This program is a nationally recognized program that is run by the parents of the students.

The kids that debate take old issues that have been argued in Congress or the Senate and have been passed or maybe not passed and rework them. The students write up thier own ideas of how to make things work better for the policies and then they argue them.

The last couple of years the class has debated issues such as:

Medical Malpractice, NATO, and Emigration Reform....This year the students are debating whether or not Sanctions should be placed on India. Every team has a different approach.........Human rights for the Dalits , a work study program in the US, Free trade in India and on and on. You get the idea....right?

As a parent, I pretend to happily go to class with my son and listen to brilliant kids argue their brilliant cases. I am to pick a winner of the debate. I should know why I picked the team I picked and why the other team didn't win.........I should know what each team member should work on to make them a better team. I need to know what they did well and most of all I am to UNDERSTAND the whole thing.

I am to tell the students, in person, why I think what I think. I should stop the debater when he or she makes mistakes.........I am to rate them as first, second, third and fourth speakers....decide how they did on their persuasiveness, organization, delivery, how the evidence worked for me, how well they cross-examined the opponents and refutation............ and ,to me, worst of all, I am write all this out on an official NCFCA form.

Every time I do this I feel like I am being weighed............ in public..........ugggg!!

The students debate on stock issues and reforms and transparencies and harms and definitions and Policies and Advantages, and disadvantages and core issues, and inherency, and, and, and, and....................when I listen to all this I think my head is going to explode!!!!!

I use to think I knew a little bit about something and then 'we' joined this club and I became a parent judge..........I listen to these brilliant kids that know these brilliant words that I have to sometimes (try) to write down so I can look them up later or worse ask one of my kids what it means...........because I forget!!! or I just don't know the word!

I am a terrible speller. I am not a good writer. I get confused easily....... I forget things all the time.

AND! I really don't know what the heck these kids are talking about! I sit and listen and pretend..........and I think..............Huh??...........What???..... The who?? Now is India anywhere near Charleston SC? Or is it in NC near Cherokee Valley? Kidding!!! BUT!

I know I should be fair. I know I should be informed. I know I should kind of know what I am doing. After all, these kids are our future.........I have to keep in mind they are debating to win scholarships, get to college and maybe even learn how to lead this Great Country of ours...............not to make me feel stupid.

Now, if I am asked whether this top looks good with these pants.......I am your woman.......or if Susie's eyes are to close together. I can give you a big.......... YES!! You know make up could do wonders for her.... AND Why the heck is she wearing those shoes with that dress??

But, THIS!! It is just too darn hard! These kids are just too darn smart! The worst of it all we cannot judge our own kids..........I would be good here because I would know if my kid cleaned his room or not that day. I would know if he worked really hard in school that week. I would know if he was very nice to me and very helpful to his brother and sisters……. then..........

He wins!

If he wasn’t and made me crazy that week......... It is a BIG lose!!

At one time, I use to think I knew a little bit about politics and policies and maybe a big word here and there ......but now……. I know........... I know nothing!!

Gee, being a Parent Judge in a home school debate class is really hard.

SNOW! Southern Style!

Yay! SNOW!

Wonderful Snow!

Stephen is caught in the first Snow ball fight of the season.

We where having a great time........

UNTIL

The power went out!

AND

We didn't have electricity all through the night.

It got cold!

Really cold!

Not cool......well, too COLD!!

TREES came crashing down and the wind made terrible howling sounds.

I was a very worried about what the morning would bring.

It brought.......

Power!!

With the power back on and with a good cup of coffee...... the snow was a welcoming sight.

A beautiful! SIGHT!

We had so much snow Alex and Brian had to crawl to make it home!! SHUU! Alex made it,

with a little help from his friend. On our end Kathryn knows people too! And so does Mary Elizabeth.

Natasha was not amuzed.

She had enough!

After all,

she is a Southern Bell.

Today the snow is, for the most part, gone.

The roads are clear and we are back to school.

But,

it sure was nice to have a day of fun, snow and electricity!

Not Me! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. With her encouragement and her blog button, I have decided to play. It should be fun! The idea is to post the things you know you should have done but didn't......or the other way around! When you’re done here, head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week. Here goes! It's time to 'fess up!' Not Me! Monday! This morning, I did not get up early and enjoy the peace and quite. I would have woken everyone up nice and early to get started with their day. It snowed last night and after all I knew the kids would be excited and I would want them to get out into the fun before it melted away. We live in South Carolina and the snow just stays and stays! When Mark told me he was going to work today, I didn't think secretly....... "I will get on the computer and blog when he leaves." I would not have done that, because I never waist time. I just have too much to do! When I took my two year old daughter out into the snow, I did not get too cold really fast and tell her I had Hot Chocolate in the house. Then I did not tell her we could make a cake and that Barnie was on.........after all I know the snow is rare around here. AND I am much nicer then that. I did not waste too much time under a blanket reading the book my mother gave me today. I cleaned up my house right away and it really looks great. I am not sitting in a mess thinking..........How does it get so bad so quickly? My wonderful husband and mostly my kids and are very, very neat and tidy and always puts things back where they go. I will never find them hiding from a mess...... My house is ALWAYS perfect! Because I am a REALLY GREAT house keeper! Now it is your turn! Tell me what you have not been doing today. Looking forward to it!

Something Missing

The lady in the picture at the top of my blog is my mom. We are in Hilton Head S.C. at the beach. I forget why my sister and I got to go to the beach with our parents and take our kids, but we did. Our parents are just like that. They are great........They invite us and we go. Every time I look at this picture, I think of the day we were at the beach having so much fun. Our kids were playing in the water and my mom was right in there with them. Mary Elizabeth couldn't wait to get down and splash and swim. She loved it all. But, there was something missing that day..........the other member of our party ........My Father. He was sick that day. I think, if I remember right, we went to the beach shortly after a chemo treatment. I am sure he was sick from the chemo. He also fell and broke his hand while riding bikes with my boys the day before. Even though he had all this going on....... he never complained. We all knew he really didn't feel to well that morning. We knew he really wanted to have some peace a quite for a while.........and maybe he just wanted to rest........he never said that, but we knew his hand was bothering him, chemo makes you sick and the sun was really hot. .......He must have been very uncomfortable. But........still.......... he never complained. You want to know someone really amazing? You should meet my dad. He never complains and always sees the fun in things. He always looks towards the future. AND He always go back to the cancer center for his treatments. He is thankful to be able to do it................. I find it ALL just very amazing. I remember that day in the fun and sun so well.......while we took pictures and played and had such a very good time it just didn't feel right. I couldn't help but miss him. Every time I look at that picture I think what fun we had and how great it was being there with them.....but.........I missed my dad playing in the water with us that day. I guess somethings you never out grow.

Another Good Reason to Run, Pray and Give

This is an e-mail form my good friend Melissa: She is begging for prayers for this little boy whom she has never met. This little boy is the same age as our daughters, two and a half. I can't imagine the nightmare this family is going through.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/braydenmooney

Read her e-mail. Visit this child's site. See his beautiful face and send his family a note of prayers and then give.

Here is the link to visit the caringbridge website Brayden's grandmother created for him. Caringbridge is a nonprofit webservice that connects family and friends during a critical illness, treatment or recovery. I was introduced to it almost 2 years ago when a dear friend's nephew, Joe (some of you might remember him...some of you selflessly kept him in your prayers for so long) was involved in a horrible accident that almost claimed his life. The prayers and messages of support, from so many people he didn't personally know, made a HUGE impact on him and his life (as reported by his aunt, a dear friend). As my sisters and brothers in Christ, am calling on you to visit Brayden's caringbridge website and leave a message of hope for him and his family. The grandmother told my mother today to forward the link to me and ask that I share it with as many people as I could. It goes without saying that this dear woman, a sister, covets the support of family and friends. And as fellow Christians, we all fall in that category of her "family". Ever heard the story of the power of one? An old man was walking along the ocean after the tide had went out and was picking up starfish, one by one, throwing them back into the ocean. A young boy came up to him and started poking fun at him, exclaiming, "What are you doing old man? There's a million starfish along this shoreline, there's no way you're going to save them all!" The old man looked at the young boy, bent over, picked up a starfish and tossed it in the water. He looked back at the young boy and said, "I made a difference to that one." Every single prayer and message will make a difference in the life of Brayden and his family. Thank you for showering God's love on this precious little boy. In the grip of His grace,Melissa *Proverbs 31* http://pages.teamintraining.org/sc/rnr09/mhoverath

http://pages.teamintraining.org/sd/rnr09/Charlie

http://pages.teamintraining.org/sd/rnr09/AmazingTrips1

Run, Run, Run for your Life

My sister, Margaret, and my cousins Jen and Charlie are running in the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society TEAM in Training, San Diego Rock-N-Roll Marathon on May 31.

Jen is raffling off everything but the kids and the kitchen sink for donations. If you could take the time to go to her sight......http://amazingtrips.blogspot.com/ and give a lot or a little to this cause. It would be greatly appreciated. Jen has some amazing posts and to my astonishment writes something almost everyday. It is worth your time and is always a good read.

On this site you will see Team in Training Sites. Please click on anyone of those sites and give what ever you can.........the money all goes to good things like.........Saving Lives. We know 100% the LLS does not give to embryonic stem cell research. Which, as Catholics, we like........ and we also know 100% research saves families like ours............

As they say in the South "Praise GOD!"

For if it where not for Cancer Research I would not have my father today. AND we as a family would not be whole. It has been 4.5 wonderful years more with this man........who we all love very much...........the wind beneath his wings (our mother and his wife of 56 years) would be even more lost then any of us.

My mom and dad

Although, Margaret, Jen and Charlie and countless of others are preparing to run a race that should take them 5-6 hours and are putting their bodies and families through hard core training; it is people like my father, Jen's Friend, Deana and the little boy Brayden, who is only two and half years old and who my friend Melissa is begging prayers for have the hard part in this race......... For they are fighting for their lives.

Please give.........to any of these sites............

http://pages.teamintraining.org/sc/rnr09/mhoverath

http://pages.teamintraining.org/sd/rnr09/Charlie

http://pages.teamintraining.org/sd/rnr09/AmazingTrips1

I am pasting the web pages only because I am new at this blog thing and I cannot figure out how to add these on to my web page yet.

When I figure it all out I will have them on my site.

To help out ,a little, I will be donating Mary Kay profit money to these teams in training. If anyone wants to have a party or buy products from Mary Kay ~ tell me that you would like the profits to go to TNT Cancer Research. It would be my pleasure and privilege to do this. I would also like to add; I can ship the products to you and I offer free shipping.

This is my web page http://www.marykay.com/AdventL5477/default.aspx

We all have to join this fight:

For cancer knows no discrimination.................as my mother says " Read the list of Cancer victims and pray Catholic, Muslim , Jewish or Buddhist........that it doesn't happen to you or a loved one. Run, Run, Run for life."

The Birthdays

As January ends the Birthdays begin....

First there is Karen

Then there is Bill Mark's Mom Margaret and My dad

We celebrate these birthdays in one big party.

This year we went out to eat and everyone came.

We even needed two very long tables

My mother seemed confused about all this. But, she shouldn't be.

She knows there are a lot of us.

Even though we celebrated the January/February Birthdays together

We have to celebrate it all again and again on the actual day.........

We must have another Cake and a 'Happy Birthday' song.

Or PIE!

Whatever the case may be.........

Is it because we like cake, pies, singing or just plan eating?

Well......some of us do!

But then again!

We have a LOT to celebrate!

George your next!

My Little Flower

Yesterday, I went with Kathryn and the club she belongs to, called the "Little Flowers", to a nursing home. The group wanted to hand out home made Valentines, Mary Kay hand lotion and some foot cream.

It was a great experience.

It just so happened that day the director in the nursing home said "her" people needed a "pick me up." Our group of girls had just the thing an aching heart may call for..........Little Flowers handing out well wishes, candy, presents and hand crafted valentines to people they didn't even know.

That day, the people in the Nursing home where grieving over a death of one of their close friends from early that same morning. They where more then happy to see our girls come in and spread cheer.

At first the girls were very shy and nervous until they discovered the people in the home were just like the people they know and love in their homes. It was so amazing to see how all the girls slowly bloomed from shy little flowers into loving, caring roses that wanted to make a difference in someone's day.

All the girls lovingly gave out "thier goodies" while they talked to the residence. Everyone felt great about how they were spending their Valentines Day.

I really think these young woman understood they where actually making an impact on someone's day. Before we went into the home, the mothers where telling the girls....."How life was not about what you get, it is more about what you give".....and yadda, yadda, yadda.

It seemed to me that day.....the message was not just for our little girls.........the message went to the big girls as well.

I was ,of course, encouraged the most by my little flower, Kathryn.

To the outside world she is a shy, quite girl that is not always sure of herself. In my world she is a loud Tom boy that tries very hard to keep up with her 6 foot plus, brothers and dreams of "whipping the tar out of them". Kathryn loves animals of all kinds, music and her baby sister.

This day I saw my future in "my Little Flower". She blossomed into this loving young woman who gently opened gifts and lovingly read the cards she crafted for people she was afraid to meet. She held hands with sick strangers. She gave hugs to grandparents who told her they didn't get to see there own granddaughters and could she just do this one more thing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes I wonder........ am I doing enough for society? Am I helping others the way I should be? Should I be fund raising, doing bake sales and doing all those other outside things people do to make a difference........I wonder and then I research....... and then I think........ I am just a stay at home mom that home schools her kids. I take care of my family, teach my children, help my husband and try to help my extended family..............then I look at my girl......my little flower

AND I know..........

Mathew Driving Me

I am now the mother of a teenage driver! This statement really scares me. First of all, I can't figure out how my son got so old and I have managed not to age at all. But, never the less, I now find myself sitting in the passenger seat.

Matthew's first time driving me

Now that Matthew is driving, I think he will be a good driver…..I hope. He is smart, safety conscious, by personality and he really knows the rule book……..that’s good right?

The one thing that really scares me about this "driving thing" is he forgets things, by personality…..He forgets things like; looking to see if cars are coming into his lane before he turns or backs up without looking and the old forgetting to turn the blinker on when turning….he has forgotten to go......... and that leads me to my number one fear.....he may forget to stop! Yicks!! That is what the six month drivers permit is for……… right? With a parent by his side we should be able to guide him into the transition of passenger to driver.........So, I have to teach him to drive well………..... ME!! I keep telling myself, I have taught him many things, after all we home-school. We can do this.......I help him with his math and Literature. We talk about history, Apologetics and I help with the debate club "stuff ….However, I do not DO his Science. I can’t help there.........He past me long ago on this one. As his mother and teacher our lives are full of learning from each other.........I have even taught this kid how to punch like a man ………but…….. this driving thing really has me shaken.

Matthew looking very intellectual

I think of myself as a fair teacher…. Most of the time……However, I do not think I am a good driving teacher. I get too scared. I really feel bad about the whole thing because of course , all this makes him very nerves..........I suck all my breath in really fast or say "OH! GEE!" "It's okay..... we're okay." and then the other kids ask "what is wrong Mom?" "Isn't Matthew doing a good job?"......... Not very comforting.... I know!

My poor son!

He has said to me many times.........."Dad is easier to drive with." I tell him I know and I am sorry. I also tell him, I really wish dad could be the one to help with this one.....We both know he is the better parent for this job. But, I am the one that has to get us through......... I am the one that drives us were we need to go.

So, I am the one that has to calm down and learn how to teach our son to drive............right????

Matthew did tell me the other day he thought I was doing better.

He really is a nice kid.

A Week in Review

On Sunday afternoons, our sons, Stephen and Alex, prepare for their lives as Catholics by going to a religion class. Margaret and I take advantage of the hour we have to give each other a little friendly, competitive push on our running. We talk, laugh, and try to out-do each other like good team mates should. As we prepared Sunday night for a busy week ahead, all was right with in our world. Monday was a normal school day and things went as they should. The bad news came Monday night, when the phone rang late. I normally would not have answered, but this time the ring had an urgent sound to it, as phones sometimes do. It was Kim, a friend of Margaret’s and mine. She wanted to tell me something terrible had happened to another friend’s son.Kim said our friend’s son had died. She was not sure of the details because she had received the news “through the grape vine”. We were not even sure if it was true. Within seconds of hanging up from Kim, Margaret called to tell me what had happened. This friend’s son’s death was all too real. Matt, the young man that died, was only 23. He was the only son of four children. He was a black belt many times over. He was a veteran of the Iraq war serving four tours of duty. He had also just recently signed up for the National Guard. He was a quiet, gentle kid always thinking of how he could help others. Amazingly, he wanted to serve our country even more than he had before. Now the shock of this tragedy was starting to sink in for us. I could only imagine how his mother must feel. Matt and his mother where very close. In this very sad time the circles of friends we have, where all at a loss as to what to do. Most of all, we were at a loss for words. Everyone was trying to do something, anything to make it better for Matt’s mother. With no way to truly help, we cried. We cried for his mother’s loss. We cried because we all knew Matt. We cried because we are all mothers. We also cried for all the losses of the mothers and fathers all over the country that are suffering due to this war or any war, for that matter. A rainy, cold Tuesday was fitting for my mood that day. With the news still sinking in, the close circle of friends stayed in contact through e-mail. We shared our thoughts and most of all we tried to help each other cope. But, in reality we had the easy part and our lives still moved forward as usual. My Matthew had made arrangements to spend Tuesday afternoon with his nana. They were going to run errands and then drop by the DMV so Matthew could take the drivers permit test. To much of his excitement, Matthew passed the test. Mark and I now have a student driver in the house. Although, I am excited for Matthew, I can’t help but be a little sad. I keep thinking somehow I turned around and my baby boy was growing up all to fast. But, then again, I am very happy he has a grandmother that will take the time out of her busy day to spend with him and do these important things that kids need to feel special. Kathryn and Stephen went to piano lessons while Mary Elizabeth slept in the car. For me that day, my life move forward as usual. By Tuesday night the word was out about Matt’s death. Everyone in our small town wanted to see if they could do something to help. His mother was one of the kick boxing teachers at the karate school we all had grown to love. All her old students and now friends came together at a local sandwich shop to pray, cry and talk about what could be done. Matt’s sisters had come to say thank you for caring and to tell us ways they thought we could help their mother. We learned what had happened to Matt. We learned about the very sad events of the weekend for his mother and her family. We also learned, once again in the end, Matt showed his heroism and his mother showed her courage, faith, and love of life by donating Matt’s organs. None of us were surprised by this family’s incredible strength. Wednesday morning, still cold and rainy and still fitting to the mood, was a rush out the door by 7 am. I had to have, my son, Matthew in Easley, an hour away. He was up for a 10 hour day of debate. Where the kids amazingly talked about sanctions, stock issues and reforms. That same day, our father, as brave as can be, went in for another round of chemo with our mother at his side. For, they are still fighting the cancer that is eating away at our dad’s body. My other kids did their school work in the car and at the church where the debate was held. They also helped where they could with the debating events. Elizabeth slept in the car and played where ever she was. On the way home that night, we stopped and picked up a pizza for a late night dinner with our family. Mark and I talked with the kids about how the day went, read the comments on Matthew's debating and then we kissed our children good night. It was life as usual for me. Thursday morning the boys were really excited about the adventure they were about to partake with James and their grandparents. There was a very big conference about growing grapes and other small fruits that Matthew just had to attend. For his dream is to have a muscadine farm where he, his siblings and James can become famous wine makers. They want to sell grapes to cancer research laps, make wine and anything else they can think of to do with the fruit. Incredibly, their grandparents are 110% behind them cheering all the way. Thursday afternoon, my mother and father packed up the car and the three boys. They were taking them over night to the RAIN conference in Florence, South Carolina, about 4 hours away. I took the girls home that afternoon to get dinner ready and to get myself ready for the funeral. Thursday night Margaret and I went to the funeral together to pay our respects. As we drove up to the church we were taken back by all the cars in the parking lot. We walked slowly down a sidewalk that was lined with men in uniform holding American flags. Our walk into the church left us in awe for all the people that had come to show their love and respect for this young man and his mother. The service was incredible. There was not a dry eye in the church. Everyone cried. They cried for the loss of this young life. They cried because of the things his sisters had said during the service. They cried because of the pictures that where shown. They all cried when our American flag, that covered Matt’s casket, was folded. Everyone cried even more when the bugle player played taps, and when the 21 gun salute was fired. Even though everyone was filled with pride for this young man and pride for our great country, we cried. Everyone cried because of the circumstance of this young man’s death. Once again the system had failed and this terrible event should not have been. It was a tragic night. Margaret and I went home to our whole families and even though we were both very sad; it was life as usual for me. Friday came; Margaret and Kathryn went to their Friday home school classes. Our older boys where still in Florence enjoying the RAIN conference. Their grandfather was sick as he could be but never complained. Their grandmother showed her love and support for all her men by spreading herself thin…….watching the boys, learning about growing grapes and taking care of her husband, all 4 hours away from home. Mary Elizabeth and I stayed home and prepared for our play date that would be later that day. Her new and only little friend came over to play. The girls played while I enjoyed talking to my friend and all was right with my world. Friday night, everyone came home from the adventure of the conference excited and eager to get started. All three boys could not wait to get home and tell their mothers how things went and what the plans where. They wanted to tell us who they met and what the next step would be for their young lives. They went on and on in their excitement. It was all very wonderful listening and dreaming of their future plans. Saturday came and it was time to visit Mr. Black and his family. Mr. Black is another instructor at the karate school. Thursday night at the funeral, Margaret had learned Mr. Black and his son were very close to Matt. She had learned the Black family was taking the death of Matt very hard. After telling our group about her conversation with him, a few of us decided it would be nice to take food to their house and show our love and support. Saturday afternoon Kim and I took a very American meal over to a very Japanese family. This family was truly in pain from their loss. We learned how the Black's really felt about Matt. We learned they truly loved him and how they thought of Matt as one of their own children. We learned Mr. Black’s son and Matt where as close as brothers. Mr. Black said "twins could not have been closer". We learned Mr. Black felt he had lost a son and nothing would be right for this family again. As we left, Kim and I hugged everyone again and drove away. We went back to her house talked a little and I went home to my family. It was life as usual for me. Sunday again, the boys where off to more religion classes and there was another competitive run between sisters. Only this time we ran up the hills and walked, talked and laughed on the down. Even though, Margaret and I where still felling terrible about the events of the week, we realize this young man could be any one of our children......Life is fragile and much to short......... We know now, more then ever, our sons and my daughters will grow up way to fast. This terrible death could happen in anyones family, even in ours. As Edwin Starr sang: "WAR!...huh...yeah What is it good for?Absolutely nothing.......Uh ha haa ha" In reality: It is still life as usual for me.